1-on-1s for Engineers: How to Run Meetings That Actually Matter
daniel
Introduction
1-on-1 meetings are the foundation of strong engineering leadership. When run well, they build trust, uncover problems early, and help engineers grow. When run poorly, they become a chore — status updates that waste time.
This guide will show you how to run effective 1-on-1s that drive real impact for your engineers and your team.
1. Understand the Real Purpose of 1-on-1s
A 1-on-1 is not a project review. It’s a structured, private conversation to:
- Build trust
- Surface concerns and challenges
- Support career development
- Give and receive feedback
It’s about the person, not their tasks. The work will come up, but it’s not the focus.
2. Set a Cadence and Stick to It
Consistency builds reliability. Most engineering teams benefit from a biweekly cadence. Weekly may be better for new hires or struggling team members.
The key is to make 1-on-1s predictable and non-negotiable. Rescheduling should be rare.
3. Let the Engineer Drive the Agenda
A good 1-on-1 is driven by the engineer’s concerns, not yours. Ask in advance if there’s anything they want to discuss. Keep a lightweight shared document where both of you can add topics.
If they bring nothing, come prepared with questions like:
- What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing right now?
- What’s something that’s frustrating but you haven’t told anyone?
- Where do you want more support?
4. Focus on Career Growth, Not Just the Week’s Work
Use the time to check in on career development:
- Are they building the skills they want?
- Do they feel they’re growing?
- What projects could stretch them?
If you only talk about tickets and pull requests, you’re missing the bigger picture of long-term retention and motivation.
5. Create a Safe Environment
You won’t get real feedback unless your engineers trust that it’s safe. That means:
- Listen more than you talk
- Don’t dismiss concerns, even if you disagree
- Follow up on action items
Trust is built when people see that their input leads to change.
6. Don’t Skip the Personal Side
You don’t need to pry, but understanding what’s happening in an engineer’s life can explain a lot about their work patterns.
Simple questions like:
- How are you feeling outside of work?
- Anything exciting (or stressful) going on?
This builds connection without crossing boundaries.
Conclusion
Done right, 1-on-1s are a force multiplier for engineering teams. They’re not just meetings — they’re a leadership tool to build trust, retain talent, and uncover issues before they escalate. Prioritize them, structure them thoughtfully, and treat them as the most important meetings on your calendar.